Adventures of a new mom!

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5 years December 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 6:43 pm
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5 years ago today it was snowy.  I was at work.  We had been married only a couple months.  But, I just knew that I was pregnant.  When all of the sudden at work I just started gushing blood.  I drove myself home, and called Jacob at work.  Told him I thought I was having a miscarriage.  I drove myself to the ER.  The sign said people would be taken back in order of importance.  They called someone back with a cold before me.  A homeless-looking person was the only other person sitting in the ER with me.  When they called me back they asked me how far along I was.  I didn’t know.  I just knew that something was wrong.  Jacob got there, my mom got there.  I think I was in shock.  I didn’t know how to act.  I wasn’t in an extreme amount of pain.  They did an ultrasound.  There was nothing there.  The nurse made me feel like I was stupid for being there.  I will never forget her.  I don’t remember her name or what she looked like, but I remember how she treated me.  We went home.  And just like that, it was over. 

Little did I know that would only break the surface of the heartache I would experience in the coming years.  I had more of those ultrasounds with nothing on the screen.  I had more of those middle of the night ER trips. 

My life doesn’t revolve around those times.  But I do think about it.  And on days like today it is surreal.  I could have a 4 year old right now.

But, if I wouldn’t have lost my other babies I wouldn’t have my Lexi.

She’s my miracle, my everything, and the reason I get out of bed every day.

My angel babies, I love you and miss you!

 

How has PCOS changed me? January 29, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 7:30 pm
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Since I posted about what PCOS is I thought I would post about how it has changed my life. Prior to finding out about PCOS I knew something wasn’t right. But, I never envisioned that it would be something like this. When I first visited an ob/gyn because of my "period problems" I was told to go on birth control and when I was ready to try to get pregnant to come back. The ob/gyn at the time did no tests, ultrasounds or anything. Didn’t try to diagnose the problem, just tried to mask the symptoms.
I went on birth control for 2 years and then Jacob and I got married. We got married in October and in December I had a miscarriage. I had no idea I was even pregnant, but I knew the bleeding I was experiencing was not normal. After that I was determined to have a baby. When I went back to the ob/gyn I was told to "try naturally" for a few months and then he would do tests. Of course I knew it wouldn’t work….because my "period problem" was that I never knew when it was going to start or end. I would have months and months of spotting and then months of nothing, where I would get BFN after BFN. I finally went back and had bloodwork done. The bloodwork showed that I had PCOS. When the dr. called and gave me that news I immediately went to the internet to find out everything I could about it. My first feeling was anger. I had practically every symptom on the list, yet he had not tested me 3 years earlier. I was prescribed Clomid 50mg for my next cycle and immediately got pregnant! Only that by the time I got a positive pregnancy test I was already spotting. Called the dr. at 6:30 in the morning and was told not to call back "unless you feel like you’re bleeding to death." Thank God for Jacob’s Aunt Nancy who is a nurse and has had several miscarriages herself. She knew about this dr. and told me I needed to get out of there. She gave me the name Tracey Lakin. I immediately called and scheduled an appt. with her, but it was several weeks out. In the meatime I proceeded to miscarry. By the time I had my appt. with Dr. Lakin I had to explain over and over about the miscarriage. Dr. Lakin did lots more testing to confirm the PCOS. We did several more cycles of Clomid. Some worked and some didn’t. I ended up having another miscarriage under Dr. Lakin’s care. I have to say she was much more caring that my previous dr. She called me herself after hours to tell me what she thought was happening. (My numbers weren’t going up like they should. And while she was concerned about the pregnancy failing she was more concerned about my feelings.)
After several failed cycles we (Jacob and I) decided it would be best to take a break from trying to get pregnant. I was still taking Metformin (for blood sugar) and was told to "be careful" because sometimes Metformin can regulate your body enough for you to ovulate on your own. I honestly didn’t think that would happen because I had been taking it for a while and never thought I was ovulating on my own. I was going through some major depression issues and insomnia. I got medication for both of those. One day I told a friend that I felt like I needed to test. We laughed it off as having withdrawls from not testing in so long. I found some leftover pregnancy tests one night while Jacob was out. I found that to be the perfect time to secretly test and hide my evidence. To my surprise I tested and saw the quickest darkest line ever! I immediately headed over to CO to ask if old tests would give a false positive. They assured me that no it wouldn’t, but that I should test again. I had 1 test left and got the same result. I called Dr. Lakin the next day. The rest is history!
Wow, that turned into a fertility journey!
After having Lexi I’ve felt a whole new side of PCOS. Now that I’m not worried about infertility, I’m noticing all the other symptoms more. My weight is out of control. l have migraines that I can’t control. Insomnia is starting to come back. My thyroid is elevated. My blood pressure is elevated.
Apparently my latest fasting glucose/fasting insulin level was good because Dr. Lakin decided not to put me back on Metformin for now. I wish there was a "Women’s Dr." that’s not necessarily an ob/gyn. Someone who understands PCOS and will treat the "non infertility" side of it. I’ve been doing tons of research hoping to find the answers.