Adventures of a new mom!

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My sister July 25, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 1:05 am
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July 24 was my younger sister Lisa’s birthday.  She turned 25!  So, because of the emotional mess I always seem to be in lately, I thought I would reminisce a little.

I don’t remember Lisa coming home from the hospital because I was only 18 months old.  I don’t remember much about our younger years, but we have tons of pictures.  We both had white/blonde hair that my mom always put in braided pigtails with little clips on the ends.  We wore matching clothes a lot.  From what I’ve heard, I taught her how to read before she started kindergarten.  I’m sure that was more a decision on her part, rather than mine.  She’s always been a smarty pants!   I remember playing house in our bedroom with our play kitchen.  We used to pretend to ride the lawn mower, and used the propane tank like it was a horse! 

I see so many families that grow apart over time, and it saddens me.  That never happened to us, and I don’t understand how it could happen to anyone else. 

When I went away to college, it was the hardest thing I ever did.  I cried every weekend because I didn’t want to go back to school and leave my family.  But, not Lisa.  She embraced it when she went to college.  She loved it!  And I was jealous.  I know I missed out by not sticking it out.  I admire her for that.  She has done things that I could never do!

When I stopped going to my Grandma’s church, Lisa kept going.  She still goes there to this day, when she’s in town.  When she’s not in town, she goes to another church.  I could never do that!  I’m not brave enough to walk into a random church and sit by myself.

She moved out into an apartment with her friends.  Jealous!

She has had the same job for longer than any job I’ve ever had!

Recently she decided to go on weight watchers.  She had/has determination and motivation that I have never seen a person have.  She’s a completely different person now.  We have family members who don’t recognize her because she’s changed so much.  She’s always been shy, but she’s starting to open up more now.  She started doing 5k’s for fun!  She runs like 6 days out of the week.  She joined a running club!  She took me to my first 5k.  From the very beginning I knew I was going to be the last person to finish, and when I expressed that thought to her, she very calming said “but you will finish.”  That’s a viewpoint I didn’t have.  With my personality, I don’t want to be mediocre at something.  I want to rock it!  So, the thought of “just finishing” had never crossed my mind.  But, finish, I did.  i wasn’t last, btw.  And it brought out a change in me.  I have jogged more since that 5k, than I have jogged in years.  Because of Lisa.  Because of her, I want to do better for me. 

The best times I can think of is when we’re just sitting and laughing and crying with each other.  The three (Me and Lisa, plus our youngest sister Kristin) can have the best time just hanging out together.  We don’t have to do anything special.  Bring out a box of pictures and we can laugh for hours!  We are the kind of sisters that I want Lexi to have someday.  Someone you can tell anything to.  Someone you can argue with 1 minute and laugh with the next.  There are times I wish we were all still living under one roof with mom and dad.  I know we would get on each other’s nerves after about the first day, but still!  I love them!

We may not look like twinkies now…but we were twinkies back in the day!

I love my seesters!

Happy Birthday Lisa!  I hope you had an awesome weekend with your friends!  Can’t wait to see you tomorrow!


changes July 24, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 12:07 am
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Well, the subject says it all.  There are big changes happening in our life right now.  And being the couple that we are, neither one of us likes change, so we have to go through a period where we mope around about it. 

Change #1 was me going back to work full time.  I LOVE my job!  I love the people I work with (well most of them).  I love our product…shameless plug here.  2 awesome products that I get to sell every single day!

Change #2 stems from change #1.  Lexi had to start daycare.  She did ok at daycare.  My husband wasn’t really comfortable with her there, for reasons that are perfectly logical.  While I thought we hadn’t given it enough time.  But alas, my sister in law was going to be staying home with her 3 girls all summer, so she offered to watch Lexi for us.  We pay her what we were paying the daycare, because I believe that family deserves to be paid for babysitting, even if they’re your family!  Needless to say, Lexi loves it there!  She loves playing with “the girls” and I think they enjoy having her around.

Change #3 will be coming up next week.  As of July 30, Jacob will no longer be employed by the Beggs Telephone Company.  An opportunity FINALLY came at the school, so he’s taking a teaching position there.  It’s what he went to school to do, and it’s what he really has wanted to do all along.  We are very thankful for the time he had at the telephone company.  He made some really great friends that I know he will stay in contact with.  We were also blessed to have full family covered insurance there.  So, with all my medical bills leading up to getting pregnant, then my pregnancy and eventual hospital bedrest, then Lexi in the NICU for 9 days, the insurance took care of a good part of our bill.  Thank heavens!

Change #4 will be when Lexi starts going to the daycare at the school.  We aren’t sure if my sister in law is going to be getting another job once her kids go back to school, but we want her to have that opportunity.  The school daycare is very well run, and I trust them with my child.  My nephews go there and love it, from everything I’ve heard.  I know it won’t take long for Lexi to get used to the other kids.  But, in the past week she’s developed a horrible habit of being mean to other kids!  My nieces are 5 and 6 and Lexi bullies them constantly through the day.  She even made an attempt to bite today!  Naturally, my first word of advice was SPANK HER!  Now, I’m not giving the ok to beat my kid.  But, I do think a swat on the hand can stop bad habits early on.  Anyways….I’m not getting into a spanking debate here.  But, I don’t want to have the bratty kid that all the teachers groan when she walks in the door in the morning and sing hallelujah when she leaves in the evenings!

Change #5 is insurance.  Jacob will have his insurance covered at the school.  They don’t cover whole families and the plans they offer for families are outrageously expensive.  We, and when I say we, I mean Jacob, did a lot of research on insurance companies.  First major problem is that no one HAS to have maternity coverage.  That’s a big deal for us because we do want to start trying for baby number 2 in the near future.  We narrowed the list down to 2 and decided to go with the cheaper one (duh).  But, when we start looking up our drs to see if they are covered, we hit a brick wall.  My ob/gyn isn’t in network with them.  Major FAIL.  I told Jacob I didn’t want to be harsh, or to say yeah, let’s throw an extra hundred bucks away, but there’s no way in hell I’m changing dr’s.  Dr. Lakin was my saving grace so many times!  She always knew exactly the right things to say through my miscarriages and failed cycles.  And she was right there beside me through my whole pregnancy, doing everything she could to keep me and Lexi safe.  She knew I would hate hospital bedrest, but she put me there anyways because she knew it was best.  She stayed late that first night to come and check on me and let me know everything that was going to happen, and that I was going to be there for the long haul.  She knows my whole story.  She knows ME, without having to flip through my chart every time I talk to her.  SO…I think we’re going to opt for the more expensive plan for me, and the less expensive plan for Lexi.

All things considered, our life is great!  We get to come home every night, just the 3 of us.  Sometimes it just hits me that we are a REAL FAMILY!  We’re not just a married couple anymore.  We really have a family.  We have routines…that don’t always fall correctly. 🙂  We get to cuddle Lexi for a few hours in the evenings, give her a bath, and put her in bed.  Then we get to have our “US” time….which usually consists of making fun of stuff off the internet, laughing loud, and falling asleep happy.

I love this life!  Changes are coming, but they will not get the best of us!


4th of July July 4, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 2:27 am
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And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.
~Lee Greenwood

The 4th of July is always something that is near and dear to my heart.

We always celebrated it as kids.  And have tons of fabulous memories.

That's why during holidays now, you will see me with my camera,

snapping pictures like there's no tomorrow.

I was my kid, nieces, and nephews that be able to pull out photo alobums like I can.

Just to say "remember when".

“I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.”– Abraham Lincoln.

I love to drive down the roads today and see Men with their Grills!  It signifies that summer is now upon us.  We are no longer stuck in the sweaty kitchen to make our meals, but we can now cook outside! 
Grilling reminds me of home.  I know it wasn't that often, but in my memories, it seems like mom or dad was out there grilling every weekend in the summer.  We always had fresh corn on the cob that could be thrown on the grill, hamburgers, hot dogs, whatever else felt like jumping on!  Now that I grill at my own house, it seems so different.  I'm in charge of the grilling, and the sides.  Grilling just brings so many flavor opportunities though.  With all the marinades and seasonings that you can throw on a good steak or pork chop.  Let it cook a while, and call it done!

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Abraham Lincoln, The Gettysburg Address, 1863

Yesterday my sisters, cousin, and myself did a 5K.  At the beginning they were talking about how the money went to supprt a troop in Afghanistan and their families back home.  Be it that I'm an emotional wreck already, the the 4th of July can always make me weepy!  I think of these amazing servicemen and women who do the most dangerous things just so that I can sit up at  3 am on my laptop!

Happy 4th of July to all my friends!  God Bless America!  And may God's hands be protecting all our service men and women!


I'll fly my flag with honor!  'cause Freedom don't come Free!


anxiety and the weekend March 28, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 8:42 pm
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For the most part my anxiety has been under control. But, this weekend I lost a little bit of that control. We were due to spend the weekend with Jacob’s Nana, Papaw, and Aunt Twila. I love them. They are really his step-grandparents and step-aunt, but you would never know it. They are honestly the only part of his family that accepted me from day 1. I’m really grateful for that. But, I haven’t been up there since I had my major meltdown. There was a part of me that wanted to stay home and have a weekend to myself again, but I knew I had to go.
Friday Lexi and I spent the day shopping with my mom. We had fun, and of course it was great to just get out of the house. We made it to Ft. Gibson Friday evening and everything was pretty good. I honestly didn’t start having anxiety issues until Saturday afternoon/evening.
Saturday morning Lexi got up at like 2am. Nana and Aunt Twila were determined to take care of her. And instead of feeding/changing her and putting her back in bed, Nana slept in the recliner with her. I got up a few times to check on them, and just knowing that someone else was up with my child made me uneasy. It’s my job, ya know?! So, I finally got up around 8 am. We just hung out all day, and then headed to the mall that evening. Lexi got her first pair (actually 2 pairs) of Stride Rite shoes courtesy of Aunt Twila. The mall was crazy though. Teenagers were running into me every 3 seconds because they were too busy texting to watch where they were going. Lexi didn’t want to be in the stroller. Getting a littler worse. We went to walmart to pick up a few things. Lord knows that’s always a nightmare, so by the time we got out of there my level of anxiety was through the roof. Then we have to try to decide where to eat dinner. That’s a nightmare in and of itself. By the time we get settled at Buffalo Wild Wings I had to pop a Lorazepam. It did take the edge off some. But, I still wasn’t able to sleep good last night. Not knowing if/when Lexi was going to wake up, if someone besides me would be able to get her back to sleep if she did wake up. Then, I never heard her wake up last night, so I woke up this morning at 8 and started freaking out because she never sleeps that long without waking up. I tossed and turned for a little while and then finally just got up, checked on her, and showered and got dressed for the day. Today we went to lunch with Jacob’s sister and her family. That hour long lunch was too much for me. I felt like I was having to bullshit my way through it. I didn’t want to be there at all. I was just so ready to go home. Even the ride home was stressful.
I don’t know what it was, but I just felt like I didn’t play a part in the weekend at all. That it wouldn’t have mattered if I was there or not.
I’m glad to be home! Back in my own bed! Back to my own schedule!


Dear Lexi March 20, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 10:55 pm
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I love the way you smile at me in the morning.
I love the way you are so distracted when eating your bananas in the morning.
I love your voice.
I love to hear you read your books and talk to your friends.
I love how excited you get when someone comes to visit you.
I love how you know that it’s almost noon and time for Daddy to come home for lunch, and how it’s almost 5 and ready for him to come home from work.
I love how you refuse to crawl because everyone wants you to, but you’ve found your own way of getting around.
I love your tiny fingers and how you use them to eat puffs and cheerios, and whatever else you can get your hands on.
I love that you play and play until you’re so worn out that you have to just lay down and sleep where you are.
I love that when you wake up for a power nap you look around to make sure I’m still there.
I love that you know when it’s time for pajamas and it upsets you because you know the day is almost over.
I love feeding you that last bottle of the night and how you try to hold your eyes open as long as possible.
I love how when you’re falling asleep at night you play with your hair just like Mommy did and still does.
I love you when I lay you in bed at night you’ve started pushing your little bottom up into the air.
I love that you snore just like your Daddy.

Little girl, I love you with my whole heart!


It’s been a while March 19, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 9:39 pm
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Where do I even begin? Lexi is almost 11 months old!
She got RSV a few weeks ago. She looked and felt awful. We spent 2 nights in the recliner because she refused to sleep anywhere other than my arms. I’m glad I could give her that comfort. Since then she’s decided she only wants to be put to bed on her belly, and in the past few days has started pushing her little bottom up in the air. It’s so stinking cute!
Last weekend was her first weekend away from DH and I. She went to her Nana, Papaw, and Aunt Twila’s house. From everything I heard, she had a really great time and was well-behaved.
We’ve had a few nice days this week, so I’ve taken Lexi outside for a while. She likes to walk barefoot in the grass and today we picked flowers! Summer is going to be so fun. We’re going to need to get a little swimming pool for her to play in!
So far she still hasn’t gotten all the way up on her hands and knees to crawl…but she sure gets around! I put all her toys in a neat pile, and within 10 minutes they are scattered all over the living room.
It’s been about a month since I’ve been next door to visit my niece and nephews. I miss them, but I am still very upset by things my SIL has said about Lexi. She always makes it a point to talk about how she’s not crawling yet, and how her kids crawled way before this. I understand that everyone thinks their own kids are the greatest…but she pushes it to the extreme. Her and my brother also made it a point to tell us that if we were more involved in church then I wouldn’t have had my “episode.” I don’t disagree that God can help every situation. But, I also believe that we have modern medicine for a reason, and there’s no sense in me trying to fix a problem myself when there is help available.
I’m busy planning Lexi’s first birthday. We have decided to do a Backyardigan’s theme since she loves that show so much.
Well, I guess that’s a quick update, as there isn’t really anything exciting going on here!


weight loss January 12, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 9:25 pm
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In the past year, my younger sister has lost over 100 pounds. Here’s her blog:

Holy Shit…I wish she would post some before and after pictures of herself so you can all see how awesome she looks! Now, if I could take some of her motivation and make it work for myself. But, I’m lacking in the motivation department. I can’t seem to make myself eat healthy and work out consistently. My life is full of tons of excuses that I’m not going to torture you with…but I’ll just say that I need to make some changes. I don’t know what to do to make the changes though. It’s like a constant circle of needing to make changes, but not doing anything to make the changes. Someone help!