Adventures of a new mom!

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5 years December 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Danielle Brigance @ 6:43 pm

5 years ago today it was snowy.  I was at work.  We had been married only a couple months.  But, I just knew that I was pregnant.  When all of the sudden at work I just started gushing blood.  I drove myself home, and called Jacob at work.  Told him I thought I was having a miscarriage.  I drove myself to the ER.  The sign said people would be taken back in order of importance.  They called someone back with a cold before me.  A homeless-looking person was the only other person sitting in the ER with me.  When they called me back they asked me how far along I was.  I didn’t know.  I just knew that something was wrong.  Jacob got there, my mom got there.  I think I was in shock.  I didn’t know how to act.  I wasn’t in an extreme amount of pain.  They did an ultrasound.  There was nothing there.  The nurse made me feel like I was stupid for being there.  I will never forget her.  I don’t remember her name or what she looked like, but I remember how she treated me.  We went home.  And just like that, it was over. 

Little did I know that would only break the surface of the heartache I would experience in the coming years.  I had more of those ultrasounds with nothing on the screen.  I had more of those middle of the night ER trips. 

My life doesn’t revolve around those times.  But I do think about it.  And on days like today it is surreal.  I could have a 4 year old right now.

But, if I wouldn’t have lost my other babies I wouldn’t have my Lexi.

She’s my miracle, my everything, and the reason I get out of bed every day.

My angel babies, I love you and miss you!


2 Responses to “5 years”

  1. I love you. And I love Lexi. Thank you for never giving up and for blessing our family with that ball of joy!

  2. Shelley Says:

    very touching. thank you for sharing

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